How To Put On a Sports Bra

This was discovered via Facebook.  Enjoy!  

BY ANNA LEFLER

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1. Approach the sports bra with confidence, secure
in the belief that you will wear it.

2. Holding the sports bra open by its bottom edge, peer
into it and locate the medium-sized opening in the center
of the cavity. This is your target.

3. Take a moment to ask yourself the following questions:

A. Am I naked from the waist up? B. Have I removed my glasses?

If the answer to either is "no," make the necessary
adjustments and return to Step 1.

4. Snake your right arm through the right armhole as
far as it will go. Repeat for left arm and left armhole.

5. Assume power stance: feet shoulder-width apart and knees
slightly bent. Hook your thumbs into the sports bra's bottom-edge
elastic and pull it out in front of you as far as possible. (Note: do not let go.)

6. In one, deft motion, pull the elastic toward you and over
your head. If you have martial arts training, this would be the
time to release your battle cry, or kiai.

7. You should now be standing with arms pointing skyward, the
sports bra encircling you at chin level, binding your biceps to your ears.

8. Remain calm. Visualize yourself wearing the sports bra while
engaged in a pleasant activity, such as not watching Jersey Shore.

9. Cross your arms in front of your face, grasp the bottom of the
sports bra and begin tugging it down to your chest. This process
should take 2-25 minutes and can be streamlined by the removal
of one of your arms (advanced yoga practitioners only).

10. If you have followed steps 1-9 correctly, the sports bra is
now strapped across the rise of your bosom, compressing the
breasts downward to the point that you can see your
pulse in your areolas.

11. Resume power stance (see Step 5). Holding firmly to the
bottom edge of the sports bra, pull it away from your body in
a downward arc until it grazes your kneecaps. Then, with a
scraping motion, drag the sports bra upward along the front of
your body, capturing all excess flesh in its path.


12. When the bottom elastic reaches the desired altitude on
your rib cage, release it. Then, while holding the top of the sports
bra away from your body with one hand, plunge the other hand
into the sports bra to distribute and align its contents, which
should include both of your breasts.

Note: If you are unable to locate two (2) breasts in the sports bra,
do not become alarmed as they are likely nearby. Remove the sports
bra (see "How to Take Off a Sports Bra") and return to
Step 1 of these instructions.

Umm... It's Spaghetti

Our family is just sitting down for dinner on Monday night.  Hayden gets an impish smile, looks at me and asks, "mom, can you please pass the maple syrup?"
Thinking I can call his bluff, I get up, grab the maple syrup out of the cupboard and pass it to Hayden.  His face lights up and he asks, "can I really?"

I tell him, "sure!", again convinced that he would never follow through.

He proceeds to put syrup on his spaghetti... 

His first bite is a bit tentative, but then he smiles and exclaims, "it tastes just like pancakes!"

He had thirds on spaghetti for dinner that night.

I suppose my question is:

Is this really an acceptable way to get him to eat his dinner?


Also, I think we need to stop watching elf quite so much around the holiday season.

Sara means "princess"

I have come to this conclusion:  God has a healthy sense of humor. 

Otherwise, why in the world would he have given me such a girly-girl.  Here's how I have come to this conclusion:

While driving Sara and Hayden to their cousin's 9 year Birthday party, this is how the conversation went:
Sara: "Mom. is this party only for the kids?"
Mom:"yes."
Sara: "okay.  this is going to be SO FUN!"
Mom: "yep."
Sara: " Mom, what is your phone number?"
Mom: " it's (gives phone number)."
Sara: "okay. Mom, we'll call you when the party is over.  I need your cell phone."
Mom: "I know what time I need to pick you up.  You won't need to call me."
Sara: "No Mom.  I need your phone in case I need to call you from the party."
Mom: "Sara, you're not getting my cell phone.  You can use Heather's phone if you need to call me."
Sara: "Fine."

I am in so much trouble if my 4 year old is already asking for a CELL PHONE! 

To add to the looming threat of cell phones, Sara has asked for the following Christmas presents this year from Santa:  Makeup, lip gloss, a new dress, a new skirt, a purse and a Moxie doll.  NONE of these would have been on my own list when I was 4.

I think I will have to defer my daughter to my Sisters once it comes to makeup advise... I'm no help there!

For all of these frightening (for me) developments, I wouldn't trade her for the world!

Sleep? What's sleep?

Ah, how I miss sleep. The joys of motherhood! There is nothing like 3:00am programming! I think I have officially seen every episode of Mythbusters, Deadliest Catch, and Oprah.

But I wouldn't trade it for the world! Even at 3:00am, that adorable 8 week old smiling up at you can melt even the grumpiest of hearts.

Carter tends to go days between BM's, and each day brings us a grumpier version of our bundle of joy. Sunday finally brought relief ( and a VERY full diaper!) I never thought I could get so excited over poop!

Bailey the HUGE super pup!

Well... a puppy no longer, Bailey is now ruling the roost. She adores the kids (Carter especially!). She never misses an opportunity to give him a kiss. Her favorite activities involve water and anything reflective.

Bailey's morning routine consists of waiting by the glass door for the sunrise. She knows that once the sun comes up she will be able to chase the reflection off of her collar for a good two hours. Talk about a low-maintenance dog! She can entertain herself for hours on end!

We have to make sure that Bailey is nowhere here when we are preparing the kids baths. If you forget to put her outside or downstairs, you are guaranteed to have a Labrador companion in the tub!

Her favorite summer activity is emptying the wading pool as quickly as possible by digging in the water to splash it all out behind her.

The beautiful baby Carter

Carter Jonathan Mattingly

Born June 7, 2010 at 3:43 pm
8 pounds, 1 ounce

What a full head of hair!

Bailey, the super-pup

We decided to surprise the kids with a puppy for Christmas 2008. She comes from a litter of 7 males and 7 females, all born October 13, 2008. We absolutely fell in love with her the moment we met bailey! the family we adopted her from had nick-named her Dora... but Dora just didn't seem to fit.

Bailey is an AKC registered yellow lab. We call her a yellow lab, but truly there is almost no color to her coat. She is quite white. She has a very light tan saddle, but that's about it!

At her first puppy check-up we took her to, (around 9 weeks) we discovered that she has quite a pronounced heart murmer. We do not yet know how this will affect her quality of life as she grows, but for now, she behaves as a healthy, normal puppy!

Her favorite toys are Sara's dolls, Hayden's shoes and Anything that makes a loud noise when she bites it!

Bailey's first bath was something I won't soon forget. She jumped in the tub (only getting hung-up on the side of the tub for a moment), and immediately started attacking the water pouring out of the spout. She then started to spin in a circle trying to catch her tail. This, in turn, caused a wonderful tital wave over the side of the tub, flooding the bathroom floor. Bailey is absolutely a water-loving dog! We actually have to lock her downstairs when the kids are taking their baths so that she doesn't jump right in with them.

Bailey is a wonderful addition to the family and the kids absolutely ADORE her!